From venue to catering costs, gift expenses to favors and experiences for the guests, the line items for even the most modest showers seem unlimited. They might really appreciate your looking out for them. In our rundown of 8 things that really happen at a bridal shower , nothing really stood out as something that a bride would mourn not having experienced: total gluttony, a white wardrobe, gifts, games This is a smaller gift that you buy, toss into a big pile, and don't get credit for having bought.
For wedding showers, it might be a spatula or meat thermometer. For baby showers it might be a little toy or an anal thermometer. Maybe you could reverse those? But I just learned in another thread where the guests of a baby shower were expected to fill out a card for a particular website, and pledge to each buy the woman 12 dozen diapers to be delivered to her home.
I have no clue what dozen diapers would cost, and really, that's not my point. It's the bullying, peer-pressuring, shake-down of squeezing another gift out of a guest. I went to a baby shower that required us to each buy two non-wrapped books to throw into a basinette for the baby.
I'm not joking, I have witnesses. We didn't get to add gift tags to the books, so no one knew who bought each book. The mom-to-be held up my two books, and half the room turned and looked directly at me. The Stupid Shower Rituals. These are usually in the catgories of games , the pass-around , and the ribbon-hat. For those of you who don't know men, I guess , there are "games" they have to play at these things.
It's usually some quiz or bingo game that has to do with how much you know about the guest of honor. Not fun. Far, far from fun. Then when the guest of honor opens each gift, you all have to pass the gift around and pretend to look at it. Sometimes it's expected to "ooh" and "aah" as you do this. Example: "Ooooohhh, breast pump! Then every ribbon or bow, from every gift, gets gathered together by the designated most-annoying party guest and sculpted into a silly hat that the guest of honor must then wear for several pictures.
The lack of alcohol. Now, showers in my nice WASP family usually have an abundance alcohol flowing. But many seem to think that showers are so much fun that alcohol is just not needed. But several drinks are required to make all of the above even remotely tolerable.
I don't care what time of day it is, if you are throwing a shower, alcohol is required. If you're on the wagon, great for you. But you need to make sure the other guests can all drink. Serenity, man. Just go to a meeting afterward if you need to. Either way, you'll probably need to.
And mimosa doesn't count. Mimosa sucks. So anyway. I'm sure I can't be alone. Do any other women hate showers? I must be missing a gene or something. Last edited by Tracysherm; at PM.. I hate them too, especially the games. I'm married with two kids, so it's not an anti-child thing. My sis is pregnant and there are four count 'em, four coming up, and I'm dreading it. Not the baby, mind you, just the showers.
Now that most of my friends are married, they are all having babies. It never ends. I was in the same boat! I was 31 and my husband was 36 and we had a super tiny wedding, just a notch about actually eloping.
Some family members were generous enough to send money anyway, and we just put it in our savings account. But actually, since my non-wedding, I feel a lot more comfortable just saying not to celebrations and parties that I am not ever going to have for myself.
I can skip bridal showers and baby showers without guilt because I know I have not and am not going to ask anyone to come to my own. I would place a way bigger value on someone helping me move than get me linen napkins at a party where I have to answer weird trivia about me and my future husband. That said, people ingrained expectations for rituals are complicated!! I think they are very helpful to the couple and the people who want to give a gift.
So the bridal shower seems a little greedy. I mean, all these events for you ladies to attend and all the rage, tears and depression involved in finding something to wear to them. We absorb that blow! You just want me to be fatter??? Matchingflatware she could cook a decent post-coital consumation fried egg. It made sense, if you and I moved in together we would have to throw out duplicate spatulas and frying pans.
As a side note, dont forget the housewarming party AFTER the wedding where I can give the bride and groom; whom have lived together for the last 6 years, a toaster oven that will be used once then fought over in the divorce. Something I overlooked in my post. But true. This is what they should start teaching young women in high school and college. You are thinking of resting your financial future on a set of china for a friend you will probably stop hanging out with in a few years?
I could not agree more. I got married less than 2 years ago and I hesitatingly participated in the Bridal Shower ritual, made all the more strange by being in a small room in a restaurant with my Mother in Law and her mother, several women I felt obliged to invite, and a lot of weird decorations.
We went through the motions, but honestly I would rather have just stayed home. Why these strange games asking how well you know me? Guy has noticed that the bachelorette party and bridal shower are often even folded into one event, which makes sense given that the two have become somewhat indistinguishable in many circles.
Coed showers are also becoming increasingly common. I had not. Rather than having an additional girls-only get-together on top of a bachelorette party, brides and grooms are throwing couples' wedding showers: "We're still not seeing it all the time, but it's becoming more popular—especially since some brides and grooms are having coed bridal parties with a 'man of honor' or a 'best girl. Though Guy says she'd rather "eat broken glass" than attend a buttoned-up bridal shower hosted by a mother's friend, she also understands the appeal.
If you throw a shower right, you're getting together with your friends to eat food and drink cocktails. What's not to like? Cookie banner This site uses cookies. Op-Eds Essays Longform. Filed under:. Reddit Pocket Flipboard Email. Loading comments Share this story Twitter Facebook.
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